A Note To Dad. September 2017
I was lucky enough to see Lucy in her recent ballet show, I say lucky because I almost didn’t make it. I went with Mum and as we took our seats a wave of nerves flowed over me like no amount of nerves I had ever felt before. Noticing a difference in me mum asked what was up.
‘I am so nervous for my little girl! I don’t get it, I’ve done thousands of shows and I have never felt anything like this!’
‘Now you know how your Dad and I felt over the years.’
‘God yes, your Dad used to get so nervous he sometimes wouldn’t come into the show until you had got your first laugh.’
‘Wow, how many shows did he miss?’
I wish could ask why you were nervous, was it me or the material, I would love the answer. Were you nervous backstage on the television shows you wrote as these TV comedians went out?
Lucy was great by the way. A proper little star I could not have been more proud of my little girl. I can only hope you felt something like that too, that I didn’t let you down. I know it’s wrong to seek validation from anyone, that you should be happy with yourself but that would be one big fat lie. I was desperate to impress you, to make you laugh. That laugh of yours that started heartily then morphed into giggles, nonstop giggles that made your whole body shake, your hand move up to your chest and slap it, your face beam, the room light up and make your son start crying at the memory as he writes a blog at the New South Wales State Library. That bloody tear.
Lucys’ show was a success. I mean it’d be a harsh critic who didn’t come out raving about the performance of his young daughter but it was made all the more special because of the ‘magic beads’.
A year previously Lucy didn’t even make it onto the stage overcome as she was by a huge dose of stage fright. I’ve never suffered from it, I know those that have, as adults, experienced this, so how my little beauty felt I can only imagine. After talking with her mum Lucy called and asked me questions about nerves, wanting to know if I ever felt them and what I did to beat them. I told her she was nervous because she cared. I admitted that even after thousands of performances the nerves were still there before I went out. I wholeheartedly believe that those who boast about not experiencing nerves are lying.
All this time while I was on the phone with Lucy I was absentmindedly looking at a set of Komboloi hanging from the clock and that was the answer. Rightly or wrongly I made up a little story about them. Komboloi are the Greek worry beads, something the Greeks play with, and while doing so relieve themselves of any angst they may have been feeling. I told Lucy that I had a set and I would amuse myself with them pre show, they had the power to make nerves disappear.
‘Really Daddy. Magic Beads?’
‘Yes beautiful.’ I lied.
I sent mine down to Lucy the next day and she loved them, on my return from a trip to the Med I bought Lucy her very own set and mine were returned to their home hanging from the clock.
I don’t think I have ever felt more fatherly than that moment.
All was going so well too until the kids joined me for a cruise on the Koningsdam. Backstage they were both with me as I prepared for the show until Lucy screamed.
‘DADDY! WHERE ARE YOUR MAGIC BEADS?’
It always comes back to bite you on the arse doesn’t it!