Diary of a Locked Down Comedian Day 4

November 8th 2020

Today is a writing day. Keith wants my changes to the chapter he has just edited, again I hint at something that doesn’t then appear. Sometimes it just more detail that he is looking for, this time it’s a joke that I wrote. In the book I write about how I wish you were still around so we could discuss a new bit I have just put into the show. On this occasion it’s a joke, and a short one at that. It’s only twenty-six words long but by the time I finish this amendment I have written five hundred and three new words. That is two more pages at least. and no, I will not be putting the joke here, you can wait until you buy the book, or if you’re particularly close to me, receive one for free.

This is what I am finding most fun about these diary entries, I am actually looking forward to writing them, to getting up making a coffee, probably two, walking the sixteen paces to the office you once used, sitting at your desk and writing. One lesson you taught me was

‘Keep writing, eventually it’ll be funny.’

You never did mention how long that would take, however that isn’t the point. The point is I am writing. Every day. With a plan, a list of subjects I want to cover but, as usual, I swiftly move off topic.

I stopped writing for a while there, todays word count is one thousand and thirty-six. Damn, if you included that wording for 1,036 my actual total is one thousand and forty-one. Now it’s one thousand and sixty-one and more if I hadn’t abbreviated it is to it’s, shall we just say it is one thousand and eighty-six and call it a day?

The sole reason I stopped writing was to make some serious inroads to the book I have been reading recently. If for no other reason than to overtake Carolyn in our frantic race to complete the books first.

I spotted The Confessions Of A Bookseller a few weeks ago and when I read the back cover synopsis I noticed the town mentioned was one mum had bought to my attention recently. Wigtown, within the Dumfries & Galloway region and perhaps more commonly known as Scotlands Bookshop, had appeared on a recent episode of Escape To The Country. As I started to read it became clear this was the second book of a series. I immediately purchased The Diary Of A Bookseller and here I am reading a book that has me laughing out loud and thinking the author, Shaun Bythell and I would be friends. His attitude to his customers is much like my view of an audience, sometimes they just get in the way. He and I are snarky.

Snarky is a word I recently learned on a ship where I was performing. The cruise line had a new online comments forum, guests could instantly let you know exactly what they were thinking. The morning after my show the Cruise Director, a good mate of mine, was gleefully reading through comments about my show, so positive they were that I knew from the change of facial expression and pause in chat that Ray had found a negative opinion and decided I wasn’t ready for such criticism. Oh, how wrong was he and, after much cajoling he reads it out.

‘Comedian is a bit snarky to audiences…’

I could have taken a screenshot of any number of comments showing me off in a much better light but, where is the fun in that….

More tomorrow…

Shots Of Coffee: 8, it’s a writing day
Reading: Diaries Of A Bookseller by Shaun Bythall, the iWeekend & Bruce Springsteen: The Stories Behind The Songs
Listened to: Sea Girls, Talk Sport and Great Movie Themes 2
YouTube Tip: Jack Dee being Jack Dee
Word Count: 1440

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